A Weekend of Welcomed Distractions

As my weekend is winding down this Sunday night, I certainly am wishing it was a bit longer, but am also thankful that I was able to keep busy the last few days. I must admit I was pretty miserable the first part of Friday (okay, and some of Friday night too) with the arrival of Aunt Flo, but by Saturday morning I was feeling back to myself. On Friday night, Colby took me to the mall and I picked out new sunglasses as a late birthday gift! Saturday, I spent the day with my sister, Caitlyn, shopping for a prom dress. I'm pretty sure I enjoy these dress shopping trips more than she does, but we always have a good time. Unfortunately, she found a few too many dresses that she liked, so we will have to head back out to make the final purchase prior to her bf's prom on May 20th. When we returned home, Cait even amused my mom and me by trying on my junior and senior prom dresses--what a sight that was. I wish I had taken some pics to share... she would have LOVED that :)

Today was pretty low key but also very productive. I spent the afternoon tackling a ton of paperwork and filing that I have been putting off for the LONGEST time. It was the first big step in getting our old office cleaned out. While cleaning up, I even found a paycheck from last year that I never cashed!!!!! Which just confirms that I really needed to get myself organized, and am feeling much better heading into a busy work week having done so. Colby and I finished the evening with a walk to Redbox and rented "The Fighter." I must say it was a pretty good movie, and to my surprise, Colb even stayed up for the whole thing! :)

So, a somewhat busy weekend, but it was exactly what I needed to keep my mind off of "things". Unfortunately, tomorrow I have to call the doctor's office to schedule our next consultation. I had actually forgotten about it until just now..... hmm, guess my weekend of distractions was more successful than I even realized! :)

On to the next!

Well, unfortunately our third try at IUI was unsuccessful. And to add to the fun, I am enjoying some wonderful cramps today, which go very nicely with the acne and fever blister on my face. And that's not even considering the hot flashes and feeling (looking) bloated all of the time from the fertility drugs. Jealous yet? :)

Colby and I will be taking the next cycle off, with no fertility treatments. Probably a much needed break, but in the back of my mind I also have that "but what if this was our month?!" feeling. Instead, we will go back to our RE for a consultation about what to try next. Hopefully we can just try some stronger meds and another IUI, because I'm not sure I am ready for IVF. While I am certainly ready to do whatever it takes to have a baby, something about moving to IVF seems so final.... like this is our LAST chance. Anyway, we won't worry about that until we have to.

In the meantime, I am going to take this month of no pills to try and get myself back in shape! Hopefully this weather will be getting nice soon and I can get back into running and drop a few lbs before either a) getting pregnant or b) bathing suit season arrives! I'll let you know how that goes :)

And in my commitment to focusing on the positive things in my life, today, and everyday, I am thankful for my amazing husband. Everyone that knows us knows that Colby and I are very different, and somehow it is what makes us work. I can honestly say that our relationship has gotten better with each passing year (and we've been together for 10!), and I am extremely thankful that the fertility challenges we are dealing with have only brought us closer, as I know that is not the case with many couples in our "situation." Although I like to think I have handled the infertility stuff pretty well and remained pretty positive about stuff, Colb is ALWAYS there to pick me up when I am about to fall.

So thanks babe--for always making me laugh, for staying positive, for being my best friend... for everything. Love you!

Time For A New Focus...

For my blog... and for my life. Yes, time to refocus the pupose of this blog. I originally started this blog as an outlet to figure out what I really want to do with my life, from a professional standpoint. I love my job in corporate finance, but was looking for something more, so I had hoped to use this blog as a creative outlet to do some other things I enjoy: interior design, personal shopping/styling advice for family & friends, DIY projects, etc. As you can see from my three or four previous posts, that topic did not hold my attention for long.

In fact, it's been about 9 months since my last post. Nine Months. That's a long time. Enough time to have a baby. Ironic, as there in lies where my life has been focused for the last 9 months while I've been blog-less... on TRYING to have a baby... and failing.

I know, failing seems like such a harsh term, but that is certainly what it feels like... at least today. You see, this journey has been a long and winding roller-coaster. It's actually been a year and nine months since my husband and I started trying to get pregnant, and with each passing month with no results, the optimism begins to fade. A few months ago we finally went for a fertility consultation and to our relief, we checked out okay. The only issue uncovered is that I apparently don't ovulate on my own every month. Easy enough to fix; you just take a pill for that, right? Or so we thought.

Our RE (reproductive endocrinologist, for those of you who are not fertiley challenged), suggested I take clomid to help me ovulate, and also said we would do IUI (intrauterine insemination) to hopefully speed up the process and increase our changes of getting pregnant. IUI is what I like to call the "turkey baster method"... charming, I know :). Anyway, it's not very invasive or expensive, and would get our chance of conceiving back to the normal 20% per month range (without assistance, my ovulation issues put us in the less than 5% range). So, with this new info, we were optimistic and started our first cycle of treatment in January!

Which failed. And the second... that failed too. Now on our 3rd and maybe final attempt, the optimism has been replaced with frustration. Needless to say, seeing our dreams of having a family of our own become seemingly less and less likely with each passing day has CERTAINLY taken a toll on my once sunny outlook on life... which has taken me a long time to even admit to myself.

So, now that you are all up to speed (whoever "you" all are), I've decided that feeling sorry for myself is not an option and my life needs some new focus. And although I plan to use this forum as an outlet for my fertility woes, I also am going to try to focus on the countless other wonderful things I have going on in life... and let me stress countless.

But I'll start with that tomorrow, I've gone on long enough for one day (or 5? haha). Whew, feels better just getting that off my mind, though :)

And I'm Back!

So apparently after having SO much to say in my first few blogs, I lost my way the last few weeks and haven't had much time to devote to this. Not a good sign, since this is supposed to be my outlet!! I suppose it's time to reprioritize some things if I really want this to be a success.

My most recent inspiration and the reason I have come back to blogging this week is my friend, Stephanie (who also happens to be my sister-in-law's sister). Stephanie works in PR for Shriner's Hospital in Philadephia and has been given the great opportunity to speak about the organization on CBS's The Early Show. That's right, she will be on NATIONAL television!! Of course I was immediately thrilled for her when she told us, but you can only imagine my excitement when she asked me to help her pick out an outfit for the special occassion! I immediately agreed to help and we made plans to head out together last week.

We decided to just head to the mall nearby in hopes of finding something fabulous and affordable. We went in and out of several stores and ended up trying on the most pieces in The Loft. They are in the middle of a great sale (still going on as of Friday, so head over there if you need some stuff!), and we were excited to find a lot of items that we thought may work.

And that's where the excitement ended. They didn't seem to have the right size in anything, or some pieces just didn't work like we thought they would, so we unfortunately left the mall without completing this assignment! Considering it's not everyday that someone gets the opportunity to be on national t.v., and to speak about such a great cause as well, we didn't want to just settle on anything that looked "okay" or even just "good." We are aiming for AWESOME :)

With a little over a week before Steph's appearance, we have decided to head back out tomorrow with plans to hit up another Loft store, as well as JCrew..... which, by the way, is one of my favorite stores. Sign up for their emails and you can get some great deals when they are changing over their inventory each season (because if you're like me, you have a hard time stomaching their normal prices).

Stay tuned to see what we end up finding for Steph!! I'll write about our trip on Monday or Tuesday and we'll definitely have to post links to her appearance if any show up on their website.

One last side note: Steph didn't leave the mall completely empty-handed. She bought an adorable high wasted short skirt and a black tank to match. I recommend that if you haven't tried on or bought one of these skirts yet for the summer you do so... they are super flattering and extremely comfortable--I love the one that I own!

Assignment #1: Take 2!

Since my first attempt at finding a dress for Chelsea's bachelorette party did not go so well (unless you are baby Madison, in which case it was a very successful trip), I decided I need to regain my focus before the party is here and I have nothing to wear! Or, at least I'd like to think I was really that committed to this assignment... in reality, I was just looking for an excuse to push off checking work emails on a Sunday, so I decided a trip to the mall was a good idea :). I planned on checking out Express first, because my friend, Kate, had been there on Saturday and mentioned they had a ton of black dresses. I had Kate send me a pic of the dress she bought to avoid ending up with the same one--always one of my biggest fashion fears. It's always awkward when you happen to be the only person at a wedding or out at the bar with a clothing clone standing across the room, mainly because you are then forced to hear the question, "Did you see that girl has the same dress as you?" all night long! Anyway, it's a good thing Kate did send me a pic, because her dress was definitely one of my favorites. Since that was checked off the list of possibilities, I made my rounds and ended up trying on three black dresses...

And of course, only one fit.

You see, dresses and I have a love hate relationship. I love them. They hate me. If I am trying on a more loose fitting dress, or something that has more of an empire waste to it, then I am fine. But the minute I even think about trying on something with a more fitted or a straight silhouette, I better put back my "normal" size, and select one about two sizes higher. You see, my shape is what people typically describe as "pear shaped"... which is really just a nice (?) way of saying I have a fat ass and thighs (And a side note to anyone who uses the term "pear shaped"... referencing any type of food to describe a woman's shape or size is never a good idea, even if it is a fruit, so don't be surprised if you get the reaction, "Did you just call me fat?!" Consider yourself warned).

Now back to the dresses. Two of them just did not work. I tried going up a size, but then they were way too big in the chest area. The one that DID work, however, was indeed my favorite. It is a simple black tank dress, with the added fun of black sequins all over it. Here's a pic:

It's a bit hard to see here, but you get the idea. It is super comfy and easy to wear (and, I had a coupon!), so I'm very happy with the outcome of this first assignment. Now if only I knew what shoes and accessories I was going to wear...

Stay tuned!

Assignment #1: The search for the little black (going out) dress

Before I get into this first assignment, there's a bit more you should know about me. I love shopping. No, I really, REALLY love shopping. But mostly, I love shopping for anyone other than myself. Some of my favorite outtings involve shopping with Cait (my sister) for a head to toe look for homecoming or a sweet sixteen party, or heading out with my sister-in-law, Staci or my mom when they have a party coming up and don't know what to wear, or even shopping for a cool new look for my nephews, Aidan & Jackson. What I don't get as excited about is shopping for myself. This probably has something to do with not liking how things fit or look, or finding it hard to spend money on myself when it's much more fun to spoil the people I love :) Anyway, one of my good friends, Chelsea, is getting married soon, and for her bachelorette party we are all wearing black dresses. Sounds easy enough, right? I have a few black dresses, but they are either too dressy or too casual for this night out on the town. So, I set out to the mall to try and find the perfect dress for this occassion.

And that's as far as I got on this assignment today.

I didn't even look in ONE store for a black dress. Instead, as soon as I got to the mall, I went straight to the kids clothing stores to do a little shopping for a very special baby girl. My good friends, Lauren & Tim, just welcomed their daughter, Madison, into the world on Tuesday. They chose to not find out the sex of the baby beforehand (which is definitely the way to go in my opinion--too few surpises in life, you might as well have fun with this one!), so lil' Maddie has a lot of yellow and green outfits waiting for her at home. While they are all adorable, I think every girl needs a little pink in her life!! So once again my desire to shop for someone other than myself took over this trip.

So how did I make out? Here's a look at what Madison is going to be sporting this summer:

Apparently I was feeling the animal print, but also got a couple things that I would call "understated girly." The top two pieces are a dress, which has lots of volume, and a white & gold jumpsuit which is super-cute and should be great for summer. The brown & pink onesies can both be worn with the brown zebra skirt, and the last two items are a bathing suit and cover-up. The bottom to the bathing suit is pink leopard with RUFFLES (another essential for any little girl), and the cover-up has little ears on it.... TOO cute. And what's an outfit without some accessories:

Madison has lots of hair, so she can definitely rock these bows right away. I just need to make sure mom put's them on her!

So that's how I spent my time at the mall... and so the search for the little black going out dress is to be continued...

When I Grow Up...

Hi :)

My name is Meagan, but my friends call me Meg (much to my mother's dismay). I am in my mid (to late) 20s and am happily married to my high school sweetheart. And when I say happily married, I mean it. My husband, Colby, is my rock, and he makes me smile and laugh everyday (though, he says I'm usually laughing at him, not with him). We have two dogs who we love to death, and are constantly debating which of the two of us they love more (by the way, the answer is me). We bought our first home together about 3 1/2 years ago, and just recently went in 50/50 with my in-laws on a vacation home at the Jersey shore. Colby works for his parents at their self-owned business, and I work in finance for a large healthcare company. Between work, two dogs and two houses, we find ourselves quite busy these days. In the spare time we do have, we enjoy spending time with our family and friends (most of whom live close by, thankfully! You'll hear more about them in later posts, for sure) and attending various professional sporting events in nearby Philadelphia. In fact, we are season ticket holders for the 76ers and Phillies, and love the time we spend down at the stadiums in south philly.

Now that I have given you a brief background on who I am, you may be asking, so why the blog? Well, as much as I enjoy the challenges and satisfaction I get from my job in corporate finance (not to mention the paycheck), it seems that too often the stressful job demands outweight the joy I get from working there. As I'm sure most of you can relate to, when we are forced to make a decision about a college and a major at 17 years old, we hardly even know who we are, let alone what we want to do for the rest of our lives (at this very moment, I am trying to convey this message to my 16 year old sister... you can be whatever and do whatever you want, so make sure it's something you enjoy!). Growing up I really did always enjoy math in school because it just came easy to me. And, being the overacheiving, competitive person I am (side note: I played sports my whole life... and am some what of a sore loser), I always thought fast-paced corporate America was the place for me. So often now, though, I find myself wishing I was in a different field: teaching, interior design, clothing design, stylist, personal shopper, event planning..... the list could go on, but do you see a trend? Aside from teaching (I substituted while in college, and really love working with kids), the things that I love doing in my spare time are much more toward the creative, and not the mathematical side of me. So, still wondering, what does this have to do with this blog??

This blog is my outlet. My creative outlet for these things that I currently may not be able to pursue full time (hello there again, 2 mortgage payments), but want to explore more. I'm not sure if I will pursue more projects related to home decor or clothing or accessories, only time will tell. I'm interested to see where this journey will take me. It's a hard thing to admit, "maybe what I chose to do for a living really isn't for me"....... but in my mind it is even harder to do something about it and make a change. This is my small step forward toward making that change. My small step to determine what I want to be "when I grow up."

And one last note to this very, very long first blog of mine (can you tell I've had this bottled up for a while?!)... the whole "when I grow up" phrase really came out of numerous discussions I have had on this topic with my amazingly fabulous friend, Lindsay. There have been countless nights when we have called each other after work talking about some of the very things I mention above. We would always joke that we really need to figure out what we want to be when we grow up... but we both knew we were only half joking. So, this first step to figuring that out is in honor of Linds. And if this blog is truly the stepping off point and personal success I hope it will be, Linds and I will probably be business partners of a very successful image consulting firm a few years down the road :)

Stay tuned!