For my blog... and for my life. Yes, time to refocus the pupose of this blog. I originally started this blog as an outlet to figure out what I really want to do with my life, from a professional standpoint. I love my job in corporate finance, but was looking for something more, so I had hoped to use this blog as a creative outlet to do some other things I enjoy: interior design, personal shopping/styling advice for family & friends, DIY projects, etc. As you can see from my three or four previous posts, that topic did not hold my attention for long.
In fact, it's been about 9 months since my last post. Nine Months. That's a long time. Enough time to have a baby. Ironic, as there in lies where my life has been focused for the last 9 months while I've been blog-less... on TRYING to have a baby... and failing.
I know, failing seems like such a harsh term, but that is certainly what it feels like... at least today. You see, this journey has been a long and winding roller-coaster. It's actually been a year and nine months since my husband and I started trying to get pregnant, and with each passing month with no results, the optimism begins to fade. A few months ago we finally went for a fertility consultation and to our relief, we checked out okay. The only issue uncovered is that I apparently don't ovulate on my own every month. Easy enough to fix; you just take a pill for that, right? Or so we thought.
Our RE (reproductive endocrinologist, for those of you who are not fertiley challenged), suggested I take clomid to help me ovulate, and also said we would do IUI (intrauterine insemination) to hopefully speed up the process and increase our changes of getting pregnant. IUI is what I like to call the "turkey baster method"... charming, I know :). Anyway, it's not very invasive or expensive, and would get our chance of conceiving back to the normal 20% per month range (without assistance, my ovulation issues put us in the less than 5% range). So, with this new info, we were optimistic and started our first cycle of treatment in January!
Which failed. And the second... that failed too. Now on our 3rd and maybe final attempt, the optimism has been replaced with frustration. Needless to say, seeing our dreams of having a family of our own become seemingly less and less likely with each passing day has CERTAINLY taken a toll on my once sunny outlook on life... which has taken me a long time to even admit to myself.
So, now that you are all up to speed (whoever "you" all are), I've decided that feeling sorry for myself is not an option and my life needs some new focus. And although I plan to use this forum as an outlet for my fertility woes, I also am going to try to focus on the countless other wonderful things I have going on in life... and let me stress countless.
But I'll start with that tomorrow, I've gone on long enough for one day (or 5? haha). Whew, feels better just getting that off my mind, though :)
If there was a "like" button I'd like this, not because of the IF issues, but because you've found another outlet for the frustration. I know you know this, but there are so many of us hoping and praying for you and Colb to be parents. And when that day comes, because it will, you two will be awesome. And this might just be your month!
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